It is officially day 14. Almost an hour in to be exact. 14 days ago my poor baby boy started his worst bout of bowel issues to date. I had just sent out an update thanking some sweet friends of mine for their prayers over the last several months (some even up to a year). I was basking in growth. Inches, centimeters, pounds, ounces… they all count. Every fraction is exciting to me. JD has been struggling with his growth for quite a while now. My emotions have ranged from the blow off of.. “He’s just going to be petite like my side of the family.” to tears and pity parties.
For those of you who don’t know, last fall JD started showing some alarming signs of some tummy problems. He was having chronic diarrhea, painful stomach cramps, and slow growth. It lasted for several weeks, well, to be honest we don’t know exactly when it began officially. This is one of the downsides of not being a first time mom. You know, that mom who worries over every spit up, every dirty diaper, the one who frets over teething, and diaper rash. I am soooo not that mom anymore. I wasn’t really ever that mom to start with. I can be to lax about things I guess. Anyhow, JD had fussiness and upset stomach all the way back to early summer of last year, but we explained it away as teething, antibiotics, etc. Well, by fall, it was obvious something more was going on. We began to see a pediatric GI and he said that JD needed to go back to his dairy free diet and restricted many other foods as well. (I say back to dairy free, because when I nursed I was dairy free with him… we assumed like a lot of kids that he would out grow this dairy thing and for a while it seemed like he had…but I guess not.) After a month on this new diet, fiber, and a new medicine. He seemed to be improving. We went back for a follow-up and the doctor said all the blood work and BM samples were clear and since there was some improvement, JD was diagnosed with sever IBS and a dairy sensitivity. Things went well for a short period of time, but from October-December the poor guy had also had a constant ear infection. Our pediatrician and even the GI felt like tubes were a good plan…as did we. So in January, JD followed in his mama and daddy’s footsteps and got tubes. The pediatrician and the ENT were confident that the antibiotics may be causing the lingering GI issues and were sure this would help. (IBS patients have very sensitive tummies and the meds increase their problems often.) It didn’t seem to help at first, but then things improved. For once, things seemed relatively normal for him. We have continued on the diet and we had growth. Not weight gain, but height gain. I was doing a happy dance.
I think the update message did it.
Ok… I know it didn’t.
Now here I sit on day 14. For 14 days, my sweet oldest redhead has been having diarrhea and stomach cramps. It is worse at night and in the morning. For 7 nights he has been up vomiting and had an upset stomach, two other nights he was up with stomach cramps, and tonight he has been up with an upset stomach. We are praising the Lord for the couple of nights that we had a full nights sleep. He has been to the ER for fluids once and we are seeing a small weight loss. Bless his heart, he doesn’t want to eat a thing. Can you blame him? And often when I lay him down at night he tells me, “Mama, I don’t wanna do it in the trash can.” That is his way of saying he doesn’t want to be up throwing up I guess. We are trying some new reflux meds.
You would think that after 14 days of this mess he would look and act miserable. No. He is tough as nails. He is pretty easily frustrated and Izzy is frequently his main target, but he is running around like a mad man. He is smiling and playing. He is also pitching some epic fits and napping. (I kinda could get used to the napping.) He had not been napping for several months, but has slept everyday since the day before he got sick. His eyes have dark rings and at the worst of his sickness in the wee hours of the morning he is pale… very pale, but he is pretty good. It could be way worse. That is what I keep telling myself.
So my jest is this… on day 14 he is pretty good and his mama is a mess. I feel terrible for him. My heart breaks. I hate watching his belly hurt. I hate the tears that come with the phrase, “I have poo poo.” I hate seeing him refuse his food. I hate hearing his little scared voice on the monitor at night because he is sick again. I hate hearing him tell me, “I don’t like this.” at 3am. I hate every single moment of it. I hate it all. I wish that I could make it go away or take it on myself. (The no weight gain would actually be kinda nice… I am trying to lose weight. Kidding.. kinda.)
I also HATE waiting to see the GI. We go on Monday. It felt like an eternity, then it felt like it was just around the corner. Now, I am feeling like it is never coming… but it is also 1:20 am and I have changed two very icky diapers since beginning this blog. (How does this happen when he is barely eating?)
I don’t think I have ever blogged about this. Maybe I have and just don’t remember. It is no secret, but I haven’t been super out there with it all. I just wanted to ask you guys to pray for my sweet boy.
Pray for my baby boy’s tummy. Please pray for rest. Pray for his doctor to have wisdom on Monday morning. (Pray for me to not hurt anyone… I am soooo not happy to have waited a whole extra week to see them.) Pray for me to have peace. Pray for me to cast my worries and anxious thoughts to Jesus. That is hard for a mama..especially when you are tired in the middle of the night… but it is no excuse. I need to consciously and daily and hourly give it to Him. Pray for Jason and I to have wisdom. Pray for normalcy. Last week was Ada’s last week of school and I tried to keep it normal and special. The girls are a bit jealous of JD’s extra cuddles and attention. Pray that I can find balance. Between him being sick and caring for a 6 month old baby my days are busy and full. Oh, pray for cleaning angels… I could really use some. hahahahaha! Ok, fine, don’t pray for those, but do pray that I make the right priorities of my time management.
I will keep you posted on what we find out about this mysteriously mostly night time tummy trouble.
PS: My husband is amazing. Every night is up putting towels, sheets, and blankets in the washer. He is getting wet wash cloths and coming to mine and JD’s rescue. He has packed lunches, folded clothes, and done dishes. He has prayed. He has hugged. He has listened to my whining. He has snuggled with JD and fed Jesse many bottles. He has let me take naps. He has slept on the not so comfy couch so that I can be in our room in my own bed with JD. (One of us has to get some sleep and be up bright and early with the other 3.) He has even offered some night shifts, but we all know I would be awake and worried regardless. I love you Jas!!